“Loyalty is a fine quality, but in excess, it fills political graveyards.”
Neil Kinnock
British Politician
In my career, I have been criticized for being too loyal to colleagues who later turned out to be untrustworthy. It is admittedly one of my faults. I have a deep feeling of faith—loyalty—in others, particularly colleagues. At least until they show their disloyalty to me. As you journey through the transition process, you need to be prepared for some rude awakenings as you see those you thought were loyal turn out to be selfish and fully prepared to speed up your exodus to irrelevancy.
Neil Kinnock, a colorful member of Great Britain’s Labour Party, said this about the loyalty dilemma: “I warn you not to be ordinary, I warn you not to be young, I warn you not to fall ill, and I warn you not to grow old.” Each of his warnings is a litmus test of loyalty, and often, the moment we see people abandon others for their self-interests, most likely believing it is fair to do so under the circumstances of ordinary youth, illness, or aging. No doubt, Kinnock might add, “I warn you never to let anyone know you’re retired.”
As I transferred my practice, all my close colleagues remained loyal. After all, they had something to gain by being so. Once my plan was essentially completed, I saw some lose that sense of loyalty as they marginalized my contributions or whole-heartedly pushed me out of client interaction.
Unlike in the earlier days of my career, my reaction surprised me. In the end, it did not bother me. It did not make me less loyal to them. I remembered that, unlike people who were disloyal to me when I had an active practice and was competing—internally and externally—for recognition and compensation, this new group of loyalists who abandoned me were the people I entrusted with my legacy (for whatever it was worth). To feel fulfilled, I needed them to succeed—even if it meant I would be one of those who, as Kinnock might say, filled a graveyard.
So be ready to swallow your pride and get over it.
