“You must trust and believe in people, or life becomes impossible.”
Anton Chekhov
There are more sayings about trust than we could ever quote. But without trust, Chekhov was right. Life would be impossible.
Those who were critical of the risks I took cautioned me I should not trust the firm. More unsettling, some of them were significant partners in the firm. They believed that while some partners might make assurances or commitments to me, I had better get it in writing if I was smart. However, the idea that I was negotiating with an adverse party and needed to memorialize everything in a contract was anathema. I prefer to believe in people until they prove I should not. While God knows I have run into some who screwed me (or tried to), they were few. When it happens, I write it off to experience and move on.
A psychologist once asked me why I was so accommodating to people. Why do I so readily trust them? I told her I have low expectations of others. I am unsure why I feel that way, but I am rarely surprised when someone lets me down. I dislike it and might be disappointed, but as the AA motto says, “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” It is a chore to change people. Accepting them for what they are and moving on when you realize they do not care about you is easier to do. Some may say that’s naïve, but I’ve moved on from very few people in my life, was glad when I did, and found that I can trust far more people than I need to distrust.
I trusted the firm and they did not let me down. Would I have liked more money? I suppose. Everyone wants more money. But measuring where I ended up and the firm’s trust in me, we all found a good place.
I am unsure if other law firms approach partners’ retirement or status change similarly. When I began the journey, I contacted several retirement consultants and my banker to see what other law firms were doing. To my surprise, they all reported that law firms had no real programs. Most did not address it at all, and those that did were anything but creative and compassionate. For most, it was just sitting back and leaving how lawyers phased out of their firms to fate. And in my years practicing law, I wondered about some folks who left in their late fifties and sixties.
You need to decide who you want to trust. Sometimes, that list may be short. Setting the parameters of your plan in writing is a smart move. Written formalities (other than your own written plan) may be unnecessary in different cases. Alternatively, you may want a hybrid through correspondence. If you think you can trust no one, then your plan probably needs to be more selfish and directed to leave with whatever you can. Assuming, of course, you did not wait too long to make that decision.
